


Rumor has it

by Ode_et_amo



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, A little crack-ish, Except not quite, M/M, Oneshot, my poor attempt at humor, sexual innuendo but no sex takes place!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29652429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ode_et_amo/pseuds/Ode_et_amo
Summary: The overheard conversations (and observed interactions) between Dick and Jason leads to speculation within the batfamily.Or: 7 times the bats misunderstands Dick and Jason's relationship and then +2.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Comments: 20
Kudos: 291





	Rumor has it

**Author's Note:**

> So writing fanfics is sorta an addiction at this point, who would have thought?  
> Anyway, after my other stories I felt the need to write something fun and light-hearted :)

TIM

”When you said it was big, I didn’t think you meant this big”

Of all the conversations Tim could have walked in on, why, _oh why,_ did it have to be this one?

“Oh, common Dickiebird, you love it!” Jason chuckled roughly.

Tim almost tripped on the next step. Sure, considering he needed to debrief the both of them it was easier if they were in the same place, but walking in on two men that he had sort of grown to consider something like brothers getting it on just a couple of meters ahead of him? Well, sign Tim the fuck off. The trial was good and all that, but not worthy the monthly cost. Especially not if it entailed future trips to the therapist to deal with the emotional trauma. Or maybe he could just ask Alfred for some bleach to burn the images away.

“Well…” Dick hummed appreciatively. “It’s not bad”

“You’re more than welcome to take a seat” Jason offered, _and who the hell propositioned someone like that?_ God, that was just… lame. “Feels great to have all that power between your legs, huh?”

And okay, anyone who had ever met Jason Todd knew the man had an ego blown out of proportion, but still… That sounded like some shit some old timey-wimey, horny man who thought his _thing_ could change someone’s life would say. 

If Tim walked down into the cave and found them filming a porno, he would take them to court for indecent behavior even if it would cost the entirety of his inheritance.

“Want a ride?” Jason asked.

“Hell, yes!”

_Okay, he could do this! Bruce needed him. Common, Tim, you’re Red Robin, you’ve survived more assassination attempts than should be reasonable!_

Tim took a deep breath and descended the last steps down into the cave and crossed the platform with the batcomputer. The voices came from the garage. _He could do this! Just one foot in front of the other._

“Then you gotta beg real nicely, Dickiebird!”

Tim shuddered. He didn’t wait for Dick’s reply as he clamped a hand over his eyes and practically screeched in warning.

“Do you have to do that here?!”

“Do what Timbers?” Jason asked, and he sounded way too calm for someone caught with his pants down. Maybe Jason was used to it. Okay, fair, Tim hadn’t checked whether the pants where actually on or off, _but he wasn’t about to either!_

“Why are you covering your eyes?” Dick asked.

“Not everyone are as voyeuristic as you are!” Tim groused.

Jason gave a cackling laughter, that wasn’t out of character exactly, but was definitely weird for the situation. Tim dared to peek out between his fingers only to find Jason, fully clothed _thank god!_ , bent double in laughter a whole five feet from where Dick (in his Nightwing suit) sat straddled on an _admittedly_ big bike. The thing looked more like a tank than a motorcycle, to be honest.

“You’re... What are you doing?”

“Jason’s showing me his new bike” Dick said, climbing off. “What did you think we were doing?”

“Nothing” Tim said quickly.

“Nothing, huh?” Jason questioned, when he had calmed down enough to speak, a leering smile spreading over his lips.

Tim shuddered, and rushed forward before a blush could spread over his face. “Bruce needs back up. Scarecrow’s wreaking havoc downtown.”

_____________

STEPH

_Was that Jason moaning?_ Wait, no, don’t answer that, Steph didn’t want to know. She tip-toed her way over to the closed door and as discreetly as she could, pushed an ear to the wood.

“Common, Little-wing” Dick urged, voice coming out a little strained. “You can do it! Just a little deeper, you can take it. Just like that! You’re doing so good Little-wing”

“Why did I agree to this again?” Jason asked, groaning.

“Because it’s stress-relieving!”

“For you perhaps” Jason muttered.

“You talk too much.” Dick said. “Just breathe, okay?”

“How? This is fucking hell on my neck!”

“You’ll get used to it, just relax” Dick soothed.

_And what the fuck?!_

“Get a room!” Steph hollered through the door, before bursting in with her phone in hand, because if they were doing what she thought they were she would need evidence to convince the others. And no, she wasn’t a voyeur, and they had all been raised by Batman, there was no privacy in this family.

“What the fuck?!” Jason shouted as his back gave up and he fell into a heap of his own limbs. On a yoga mat a few feet behind him, Dick, in tight-fitting training clothes, did a complicated pose with his body all effortlessly tangled in on itself.

“Is that yoga?” Steph asked in surprise, quickly lowering the phone before either of them could catch the sight of it.

“Sure is” Dick said, smiling brightly as he untangled himself. “Wanna join us?”

“Eh… I think I’ll pass.”

Steph quickly scrambled backwards, face heating up in shame. _She really had thought…? Christ, this was embarrassing._ She quickly escaped the way she had come.

_______________

DUKE

Unassuming (why he still was these days, he didn’t know. Probably lack of self-preservation) Duke walked into the living room, expecting it to be prepped for the movie night he had been invited to. What he found instead wasn’t something he thinks he could ever had prepared for.

“Wha-?” Duke began, staring at the scene playing out in front of them.

“Just take a seat” Steph said, patting the seat beside her. “They’ve been at it for almost an hour already. We’ll be here sometime.”

Duke sank down onto the couch, Cass passing over the bowl with popcorn and Duke took a fistful. Might as well feed himself while watching this madness.

“Okay, one more time!” Dick demanded.

“You’re gonna break my back” Jason protested weakly. On the screen behind him Dirty Dancing had been pause on the scene where they practiced the lift in the water.

“Just get it over with!” Tim complained, not even watching them, occupied by his lap-top. Beside him Damian snuggled with Alfred-the-cat, and beyond him, Bruce had fallen half-asleep, mouth open and drooling.

Duke turned back to the scene in front of him once Dick began running, every muscle effortlessly moving with the perfect poise of a gymnast. Jason braced for the impact, hands reaching out to receive him. Dick leapt and Jason lifted him up into the air and for all of five seconds the arch was perfect, than Bruce snored and Jason got distracted and the two of them were toppling over into a heap on the floor.

Duke couldn’t stop the laughter, and once he had started the rest soon followed. Even Jason who laid crushed under Dick’s weight, seemed to find the situation amusing. Bruce startled awake then.

“Wha- Have I missed something?”

And they all broke out into laughter again.

_______________

BRUCE

Bruce nodded to Dick as his oldest claimed his usual seat by the dining table. Dick gave one of his distracted sunny smiles, phone pressed between his shoulder and ear, prattling on undeterred by the presence of his family.

“You still sore? I could barely move this morning. You know, next time you might give me a heads up so I have the option to actually prep myself”

Bruce cleared his throat and when Dick glanced up at him, Bruce discreetly nodded down the table to where Cass, Tim and Damian where seated. Innocently enjoying their dinner. Dick furrowed his brow in question. In the silence that ensued, Bruce could hear a hoarse male voice through the phone.

_“Trouble keeping up, prettybird?”_

“Nah, don’t worry about me! I’m a quick learner” Dick chuckled. “Anyway, we should do it again sometime”

Bruce cleared his throat for a second time. “Dick, while you seem to have had a pleasant evening last night…”

“I wouldn’t call it that exactly” Dick interrupted, leveling Bruce with a look of brief annoyance, as if Bruce was the one disturbing the peace and not the other way around.

“Still” Bruce continued, now slightly irritated with his oldest behavior. “Could you please refrain from sharing your love-life at the dinner table?”

“Love-what?” Dick asked, mouth falling open. “I’m talking to Jason.”

Bruce spit his water all over his plate. “Jason?”

“Okay, so I talk to Jason, big surprise. He helped me with a case in Blud last night.” Dick explained, his siblings sniggering further down the table as Bruce just stared at him.

Once more that hoarse male voice reached through the phone, and now Bruce could recognize Jason’s tenor.

_“Dickhead? You still there?”_

“Yeah, sure, sure. I just… I’ll call you back later” Dick said, before hanging up the phone and turning Bruce with anger blazing in his eyes.

“Oh, here we go…” Tim whispered under his breath.

“You’re a hypocrite, you know that?” Dick began, voice filled with vitriol. “And you don’t get to say a fuck about either my love-life or how I pursue my work in Bludhaven…”

Bruce closed his eyes and sighed in resignation.

______________

CASS

Cass wasn’t very talkative, in fact, she barely spoke at all outside of ASL. This, her trouble with verbal-communication, had turned her into an excellent observer. She could read body-language like one read a book, and as such she was well-versed in the subtleties of human-emotion. So when Dick fell asleep by Jason’s bedside after they both had come back from patrol worse for wear, it surprised everyone but Cass.

Jason was lying in bed in the medical wing down in the cave, bandages wrapped around his upper body, while Dick was propped up in a chair beside him. Snoring lightly. One hand resting on the bed, just a few inches from Jason’s lax fingers. Cass smiled softly at the sight. She took the blanket she had bundled up in her arms and wrapped it around Dick’s prone form, tucking in the edges carefully as not to rouse him. Then when her work was done, she picked her phone and took a picture to capture the moment, sure that it would prove to be useful in the near future. Satisfied with her work she quickly disappeared into the shadows, as silently as she had come.

_______________

BARBARA

Barbara had tried to reach Jason for almost two days now, and eventually she just gave up and Called Dick. She waited a couple of seconds as the signals went through, then eventually:

“Hi, Baby”

The nickname still made her smile, even if it was ridiculous and they had broken up years ago. Barbara decided to just take the bull by the horns.

“You don’t happen to know where Jason is? He’s not answering his phone”

“Jason?” Dick asked, and she thought she could hear him moving around somewhat. “Sure, he’s under me right now. Wait a sec, Babs. Stop squirming, Little-wing!”

Muffled, she could here Jason’s protest. _“How about you move your fat ass!”_

Dick chuckled, and Barbara could hear the notes of Richie Wayne bleeding through his voice.

“You _love_ my ass!” 

_“Not when you’re fucking crushing me with it, I don’t!”_

“Hush now” Dick soothed, sounding about as mischievous as he ever did when he got into a flirting mood and _oh shit… She should totally have seen this coming!_ “Babs wants to talk to you. I’m gonna look for the keys.”

_“Put it on speaker, you asshole! I can’t move my fucking hands thanks to someone”_

Dick snorted. “Yeah, yeah”

“At this point I’m afraid to ask, but what are you doing?” Barbara wondered, _and god why?_ She didn’t actually want to hear the answer.

“Dick has lost the keys to the handcuffs” Jason muttered.

Now Barbara knew that Dick had kinks, but still… “Why would you need handcuffs?”

“Jason wanted to prove that he could break out of anything.” Dick’s voice was slightly muffled, but grew in intensity as he moved back over towards the phone. “Lie still, I couldn’t find the keys but I found this!”

“You’re not coming anywhere near me with that thing!” Jason practically screamed, followed by scrambling noises and grunts.

“You know what? How about you call me back when you’re done?” Barbara said.

“Don’t you dare hang up, Barbie! I need a witness when this dumbass cuts my fucking hand off!”

“Sorry, Little-wing” Barbara said, and quickly hung up.

________________

ALFRED

Alfred watched from the kitchen window as Jason pulled up in the drive-way on his old, black bike. The one he always drove when out of the mask. The butler waited patiently as Jason dismounted and made his way over to the kitchen entrance.

When the young man stepped inside Alfred found himself quickly growing disappointed at the sight of him. Dressed as he was in his old, scuffed leather-jacket, a pair of torn jeans and a washed out white t-shirt. _And oh my… was that blood?_

“Master Jason” Alfred sighed in exasperation, making the young man snap his head up to meet the old man’s eyes, brow furrowed in sudden concern.

“What? What have I done now?”

Alfred only shook his head. “You haven’t even combed your hair”

“Eh… should I have?”

“It’s the least you could have done since apparently you think blood is a perfectly normal accessory to your outfit”

“Excuse me?” Jason said, looking down on his attire. “Oh, shit! Honest to god mistake, I thought it was clean.”

He proceeded to lift the neckline of the t-shirt to his nose, smelling it subtly. “Well, clean enough.”

Alfred shook his head. “This won’t do.”

“It doesn’t matter” Jason waved a hand. “We’re just gonna sit in a dark cinema.”

“I am surprised at you, Master Jason, that you won’t even pretend to put an effort into this”

“An effort into what?”

Alfred would never admit to rolling his eyes. “Well, your date with Master Richard of course”

Jason spluttered undignified, to which Alfred could only shake his head. He waited until Jason had regained his ability to speak.

“It’s not a date! We’re just taking Damian to the movies!”

“I thought that was just an excuse.” Alfred said.

“No!” Jason protested wildly. “For crying out loud, what’s wrong with everyone recently?!”

“Now, now, don’t sound so bewildered. I think it would do you both some good.”

“Okay, no, nope, nada. You might be the only bastard in this family whose opinion I actually care about, but no way in hell am I discussing this with you. Just no!”

Alfred refrained from righting the collars of Jason’s jacket by closing his hands behind his back, arching one eyebrow in a show of slight annoyance. “As you please, sir. Do you want me to announce your presence?”

“Nah, Al, I can look for them myself, it’s fine”

“As you please.” Alfred said, and as he watched Jason’s broad back disappear further into the manor. He shook his head and sighed, and murmured to himself once Jason was out of ear-shot. “Denial looks worse on him than blood does.”

_______________

DAMIAN

This had started to become a problem. A real problem. The kind of problem that needed to be addressed, and if the rest of the family was too cowardly to do it, well, then Damian would carry the burden for the sake of all their sanity. (But especially his own). He’d watched Grayson and Todd argue for a full fifteen minute about what movie they would watch, then another ten about what snacks to get, then another twenty about who would pay for it. Then he’d been forced to sit in the seat between them while Todd threw longing glances at Grayson and Grayson constantly tried to joke with Todd over Damian’s head. (It was insulting, Damian wasn’t that short).

Now they were sitting in the boot of a vegetarian restaurant, and Todd had just left to use the bathroom. Damian leveled Grayson with a heavy stare, while his brother insisted on enquiring about Damian’s opinion about the movie, even as he had already received it.

Eventually a waitress interrupted him and Grayson threw her a polite smile as she sat down their orders. The smile had her blushing slightly before she scurried away. Damian found himself comparing this small, curtesy smile to the one Grayson had given Todd when he arrived at the manor to pick them up. That smile had been more of a grin, stretching ever wider, taking on a fond look when noticing the small splatter of dried blood on Jason’s t-shirt while Damian had curled his nose in disgust at the sight.

“So when will you and Todd get married?” Damian asked, as Grayson took a small bite of his dish, only to almost choke on it.

He began coughing, and Damian pushed Grayson’s glass of water closer to the man. Grayson nodded gratefully, taking a sip before he could finally string a coherent sentence together again.

“Excuse me, what?”

Damian stared at him, tilting his head slightly. “You already argue like an old married couple, so I’m merely curious.”

“That’s not…” Dick began, but was interrupted by Todd returning to the table.

“Color me surprised, that shit actually looks edible” Todd grunted, _the uncivilized ass._

Damian decided to drop the subject for the time being, instead concentrating on the way that Grayson observed Todd throughout the rest of the dinner as if seeing him for the first time.

_______________

DICK

Dick caught himself staring at Jason for the seventh time that night. Soon enough Jason would catch him too, and Dick wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Damian’s question circled around his head like a bad mantra and suddenly he was reminded by all the weird reactions his family had thrown around lately. _Okay, fine,_ both he and Jason had an odd sense of humor and their jargon probably seemed weird for the uninitiated, _but that didn’t mean anything!_ It didn’t mean anything either that Dick felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest a month back when Jason had taken a bullet to the chest for him either. _Nope, not a thing!_

“Do I have something on my face?” Jason asked, and _shit!_ Dick hadn’t been discreet _at all._

“Nah, no, you’re good” Dick said, quickly turning back to the case-files he had asked Jason to look over with him. They were sat in the living room of his Bludhaven apartment, take-out sprawled over the table as they had both claimed a spot on the opposite ends of the sofa.

“So what’s up then? You’ve been awfully quiet”

“It’s nothing” Dick said, then: “Just something Damian said. Do we argue like an old married couple?”

“You and Damian?”

Dick rolled his eyes. “No, me and you”

“Me and you?” Jason asked in surprise, and Dick probably just imagined the defensive tone in his voice. “What about me and you?”

“Just… Damian asked when we were gonna get married because apparently we act like an old married couple.”

Jason grew earie silent. Then after a moment. “Alfred thought we were going on a date when we took Damian to the movies.”

The silence that followed was awkward, Dick felt his face heating up, but there was also a curiosity brewing in his chest. After a moment he gathered his courage and murmured quietly.

“Maybe we should”

“Go on a date?” Jason practically squeaked.

Dick shook his head in remorse. “It was stupid, I’m sorry” 

“No, no, wait here.” Jason reached out to grab at Dick’s arm. “You don’t get to drop this bomb and walk away on me. Do you really want to go on a date? With me?”

“Yeah, kinda” Dick whispered, feeling the embarrassment burn like a fire over his face, but when he dared to glance up at Jason he could see him blush as well.

“Well, I’ve kinda wanted to go on a date with you since I was fifteen, so…”

“So…” Dick said, struggling against a big smile. 

“So, do you wanna get dinner sometime?” Jason wondered awkwardly, a pink tint to his cheeks. “I promise to wear blood free t-shirt this time”

Dick began laughing, hand reaching out to lace together with Jason’s.

_______________

+1

They were all gathered in the cave, going through another of Bruce’s extensive debriefings. Jason was late, not that anyone was surprised, but soon enough he was roaring in on that murder-bike that he insisted on riding. He quickly dismounted and they watch him take the stairs from the garage-floor up to the bat-computer where they were all gathered. Jason sneaked up behind Dick and in one fluid motion he wrapped his arms around Dick’s waist and leaned in to brush a kiss to his cheek. Dick smiled and blushed only slightly.

“So what is this now?” Tim asked, unimpressed. “A dare?”

Steph shrugged. “Gay-chicken?”

“Love potion?” Duke suggested, only to receive a round of stares from the others that varied from curious to disgruntled. “What? With all the shit that Ivy got going on it’s only a matter of time”

“True” Damian nodded in agreement, while Bruce made a hasty note on his pad.

Dick only laughed, as Jason hooked his chin over his shoulder and said: “Nah, we’re just dating.”


End file.
